Family

You know, sometimes i think that family can screw you more than your friends can. My family is so messed up probably just like any other family that is out there, but mine can be unbearable sometimes...

This afternoon, i get a phone call from my step dad that just moved out 2 days ago, asking if he can come back because he can't stand it there already. AFTER 2 DAYS...

2 DAYS ......

He told me that he had talked to Social Security and that he would all of a sudden be getting his money soon, and that he would start paying me 200 bucks for the "only 2 months" that he would come back for till he got into the assisted living ...that he all of a sudden got approved for...

So i told him no...NO... NO... i can't do it.. once he got his foot back in the door of my house, he wouldn't leave back out of it again... and he knows it and thinks i'm stupid to fall for it... and i'm not...

So i told him that i can't because i'm going to be helping a friend of mine who needs a place to stay... so he goes..." oh, i see. okay, i guess i'm on my own.. i'll just slit my throat... then tells me that he's coming for his stuff still and then hangs up on me..

which everyone in my family and him know that if you want to really piss me off ....

Hang up on me...

That for some reason infuriates me...

So today i went and paid my phone bill and why did it take me a minute to decide if i wanted to disconnect his phone service that i'm paying for?

But i decided to be the bigger person and give him the few weeks that i told him i'd keep it on before i did shut it off..

But he actually got mad at me for saying NO, that i don't want him back here anymore... i couldn't believe that!!! after all the things he put me and my daughter thru the 3 years he was here...

all the kids in and out my house,
his no good son staying at my house,
my house getting raided,
my movies and my money getting stolen,
my daughters things and camera getting stolen,
all my electronical things broken,
garbage from out in the alley that others throw out, he deems there okay, and brings them here in my house....
him not contributing to anything....

But he's going to give me 200 dollars all of a sudden to come back and live here... yea, okay.. i'm re tar did...

If he's telling the truth, yea, i could have used the money... but i'd rather have my peace and sense of MIND. of not worrying about who is all up in my house, going thru my things and eating up everything... nope can't do it...

And then he thinks that if he pulls a guilt trip and says that he's going to kill himself that i'm going to fall for it and let him come back ... no way.. and that's such a dirty scandalous thing to do to some one your supposed to "love" .. but i didn't fall for it, he's pulled that on all of us and he never did it...

Then when i told my mother and sister that i let my friend move in with me they didn't blow a fit, but they always think that my friends are going to take advantage of me, and use me. and my friend isn't like that.. he's a very quiet, private person. and i know i don't have to worry about him going thru my things stealing my stuff...

But because of my past and letting all these supposed men live with me, and they did all that bad stuff, they think that he is.. and i know he's not..

So then i told my daughter, and she blew up at me. which i understand her side of it, but because of what i put her thru when she was little she doesn't believe that he's different...

And then too, we've never had the house to our selves since i've bought it because of me letting others stay with me...

But she has to realize and the same with my mom and sister... i'm the one who pays the bills here... not them... so i have the ultimate decisions on who and who can't stay with me... not them... and then my daughter is off at college now... living in a dorm with 3 other people...

While I'm here at home all alone with my cat...

And its not that i'm scared to be here by myself, i'm not.. but it gets lonely..my cat don't talk back to me when i talk to him.. he just meows.. lol.. but i need the companionship... and my friend will give that to me.. and then i really, really , do like him.. ALOT....

But him being here isn't like that.. i wish it was.. but right now he has other things in his life that are more important to him than a relationship and i understand that..

So my day was kinda depressing today....

But in other things... my other friend who happens to be married, was supposed to come chill with me Friday night... finally for the first time in the 2 1/2 years that we have known each other...

So he comes and picks me up from work that night, and then tells me that he can drop me off but he can't stay, that he will come back because his wife got out the hospital that night and he had to go back to check on her , but that he'd be back...

So that pissed me off, because not once during the whole time that we were texting each other that night did he mention to me that she was in there. otherwise i would have told him not to even bother..because i knew it wasn't going to go thru then...

So he's i'll text you in 20 minutes ... and i didn't get a text at all... which i knew he wouldn't ...

So he texts me the next morning saying that he's sorry and that he'll make it up to me, and that wifey didn't want him to go back out again...so i understood all that but it just let me down, cuz i was looking forward to us just sitting and relaxing and watching a movie...

But oh well... maybe one day it will happen...

Well, let me get off here and get my butt to bed...

Its been a long night.. i'm tired.. and exhausted..

And this time change is killing me... i need my hour back.. lol


Laney