Crazy Times

I know, its been a while since I've blogged.. just really haven't felt like it.. mainly cuz I've gotten so addicted to Facebook's game Chefville. That's all i think about.. lol.. 

But things are still the same around here. i still don't have a job.. and i really don't want one.. i'm tired of working. and busting my ass for nothing... I've told my roomie that i have put some in, but i lied. i did last week to Payless, but even if i got it , how would i get there? 

But i keep telling myself that i have to get on the ball and really start looking and putting in applications, cuz i know that i can't just sit around here and not work. i need money... 

I got food stamps to feed me, but i need cash! and its getting down to the point that if i can't find a job, i'm going to start stripping... well, that's what Tyrone told me to do.. lol.. and my friend Mike told me that he's going to start a website for me that won't show my face, but i can do things on there, and make some money.. but i told him only if he's in it with me.. lol.. (even though, i'd rather have Tyrone with his sexy self..lol.. ) Oh, and he even changed my name to Roxie, but Tyrone said i should be called Big Juicy... lol.. which i sorta like better.. lol.. 

But i don't think anyone would watch me on line or to strip... i don't see how men do it, or how some say they like big women.. i don't know.. lol.. i guess to each their own.. lol.. but i just can't get myself to do that cuz i would feel bad or my morals would be bad.. lol.. but if it brought in money.. hey... lol.. 

Well, my roomies girlfriend is having another baby... chunk is only 11 months old, and she's 21 and pregnant again.. which i sort of had a inkling that she was, because since she's been here, our periods have been in sync..she would have her's first and i would be on mine a few days later..but recently i just got off mine, and i noticed that there weren't any pads (which she uses) in the garbage.. so i kinda knew then that she might be... 

I just don't see how your that young, and you don't want to do anything with your life but make babies and work at Dunkin Doughnuts?? and this now makes his 11th child! which she thinks is 10 but she don't know about that bow legged crackhead he screwed at the building who is claiming her baby is his and will go after him for child support. 

But she is so young and has her whole life ahead of her, and she just wants to be a baby maker ? and then she was telling me that since he wants to have 2 babies with her, that he's going to stay with her and not be leaving her like how he did his other sons mama.. ummm... he'll do it if he needs to.. cuz dam, he needs to train her in everything.. she can't really cook, (she's getting better), she can't drive, (which she is learning) she don't check his pockets of his clothes when she washes them..(the other day she washed his phone that was in his pockets that she was supposed to check) ...so he has to train her to do all this.. why would you want a girl when you can have a woman that knows how to do things right? she don't even wash their dishes after they eat.. just leaves them in the sink... i don't mind doing them, but dam, at least attempt to do them... 

Don't get me wrong, i do like her alot, she's old enough to be my daughter! but there are some things about her that get to me and that is the majority of it... 

But he really isn't ready for this relationship with her... because he's still sleeping with me. which gets me that i haven't been knocked up by him yet! man! i would love to be  pregnant again, which i know i can't afford it, but i want a boy so bad, and he knocks out boys! he only has like 2 daughters that i know of... but seriously, he really needs to get a vasectomy, but when you mention that to him, he blows a fit.. lol..  

But i am happy for them, even though it might sound like i'm not. as long as i still get my time with him i'm fine.. she will never find out.. and i hate to say it , but i don't feel bad about doing this to her. because i know that he's not ready for no committed relationship... hell, she was telling me that while he was staying at his mother's house for 2 days alone, she seen in his phone that he was texting some other girl to come over to his mom's house....so he's texting and talking to other girls and probably doing more while  he is with her.. but i know that he's not ready for this relationship, so that is why i do it , besides the feelings that i have for him..

 but i hope that she has a girl this time.. he wants another boy... smh... lol

This New Year is going to be a new one for me... i am meaning that i am done with all this junk food that i am eating and i'm going to start going for walks even if its in the snow... because I've been eating like a dam cow lately and i'm feeling it.. walking up my basement stairs and walking to the computer, i get winded. and that's never happened . when i was upstairs with my roomie we were wrestling and i was so winded that i had to stop and he was like "that's cuz your out of shape" and i'm like " i know" but this new year, i'm going to be so strict on myself that its not going to be nice. if i have to walk up and down the stairs to do the exercise..i'm going to do it.. i even looked up on YouTube yoga lessons for beginners to try to lose weight that way.. and i'm going to look up even more tonight... i'm going to look up online about what foods i can and can't eat especially with me being diabetic. cuz I've been feeling pretty bad lately with that. 

So all those dam chocolate chips i bought for cookies and muffins, i either have to make before the end of the year, or give them to somebody.. lol.. but i did promise my roomie's girl some peanut butter cookies.. lol.. 


But otherwise, everything else has been the same.. OH! i had a big surprise the other day on facebook!!! i was on my phone and i seen that this girl named Elena Pravi wanted to be friends with me. so i accepted not thinking anything really of it.. well, she wrote me on there, asking if Peter Prav was my dad and i'm like yea, and asking if we might be related. and she also sent a picture of my dad that is a spitting image of my brother dino! and sure enough, she is my first cousin on my dad's side!!! her son found me on facebook. so now i have another cousin and a nephew, and my uncles and aunt are still alive. unfortunately, my grandfather isn't though. which i knew, cuz its been so many years since we've talked or had any kind of contact. not since my dad died in 91 when my uncles flew my dad down to Greece to be buried. 

So its nice to know that i have another cousin :) she keeps sending me little things in Greek and telling me how happy she is.. which i am too.. :) 

But i'm out.. going to go watch a movie and eat some popcorn...

Laney

things going on.

Sorry that i haven't blogged in a while.. this heat is aweful where my a.c in the living room went out and i have one that i borrowed from my mom in the bedroom and i don't go outside my room unless i have too. so i am now on my daughter's laptop.

Alot of things are still the same. except my daughter is home from school for the summer but she goes back this month on the 25th. and i'm going to miss her, but then i'm kinda glad she's going back. so i can get my house back in order and there won't be any tension or fights between us about Tyrone.

She don't like him being here, and that's putting tension between me and him. And i don't like that. we kinda got into it today when i tried texting him,to see how he was since we haven't talked in 2 days, and he told me that it wasn't a good time.. what? to talk to me? so i got a little mad that he can sit here and talk to all these ugly ass hoes but he can't talk to me? the person who lives with him? he don't spend any time with me, doesn't hardly talk to me, unless he needs something from me, and we don't have sex unless i complain that he's ignoring me. but here all these dirty hoes he has coming over get all his time, and i think one might even be pregnant. don't know if its his, i hope its not, cuz she's one ugly bitch, and he don't need no more kids.. after the 9 he has now, you would figure he would learn to use protection...but he doesn't .then wants to get mad that these females want child support and go after his money...duh...(went alittle off subject there, sorry) but here he wants to get mad that my daughter don't like anyone being in the house, and she fights with me every time she sees anything of his down in the basement or even hears him. i've apologized to him for how she is, but he's mad.

Mainly cuz i think because he can't bring the dog he bought over to the house till after she leaves. even though i don't want a dog in my house, i'm making an exception for him.I always make exceptions for him, but even though he don't need the dog. its gonna be confined up in that small attic with him and his things, but he said he's going to put it in a cage in the basement. and then there's the problems with the fleas we have in the house cuz of the stupid cat. but he thinks the dog wont get them. but i think it will.

But i found out on his facebook page, that he did get the dog, but he just hasn't brought it home here yet.. (i've been being a bad girl and sneaking onto his page cuz i know his password and everything.mainly to be nosey on that ugly girls page who thinks she's his girlfriend.). when he's told her and other girls that he don't want any kinda relationship with anyone.. so she's going to get her feelings hurt somewhere down the line...

But for someone who claims that he's such a "loner" and likes being alone, he has alot of company... he can be such a hypocrite.. and i hate calling him that. but how you going to tell me one thing, and do the opposite? he's had more company here to my house than he did over at the building when he lived there with a mutual guy friend! and then he don't think, these girls can be nasty, sitting their nasty girl parts on my toilet and i don't know what they have..seriously.. and then he lets them take showers...that's more dna down on my stuff..and then the one hillbilly girl he has coming to my house is going thru my things using my tampons! how you going to come to some other females house and use her things?? made me wonder who's stuff she used when she took a shower here....but see, he's so self centered, that he don't think of that stuff. and i've brought it up to him about these girls using my things, and he tells me that their not coming back and they did... and then the hillbilly one smoked in my bathroom while she was using it... i was pissed. and i bitched at him... he don't think...

So i think i'm done sleeping with him... even though he should be more with me since he hasn't paid me shit for rent...at least that would make up and show some appreciation for him staying here... but i'm kinda scared now to touch him, cuz i don't know where his dick has been.. even though he claims he's not sleeping with any of them... yea, okay...but let me stop complainin about him...

Work has been hell... literally... its so hot in that freaking building and i do have a fan, but it don't do any good... the tenants have been okay. and there is some trouble going on, that the boss lady wants to seem to blame on me on why i'm never around when things happen, but she don't think that the tenants are not going to do things when i'm around... but yet i'm supposed to be there... i'm really beginning to hate that place... i love the tenants and the kids, but i need a change. i'm getting bored doing the same thing over and over again. and then the tenants want to run over me and not listen to what i tell them.. and then get mad when i have to write them up... smh.. i don't know.. i just need to get out of the security profession... but i don't know what to do with myself.. and then with how my legs and feet have been, i can't seem to be on my feet for that long anymore... i got a bump on my foot on the heel, and it hurts like a sum ma ma bitch when i flex it to walk.. so i'm limping all the time now. but i need a change..

But i don't know. i hope that something changes for me soon, cuz something has got to give... very fast.

goodnight..

Laney

Things going on

Man it's been a bad few weeks. I've been sick, my daughter is home from school and driving me nuts. And now the person who I called my step dad is stalking my house.
Yesterday my daughter came home from the grocery store saying that he was sitting on the corner of Speedway. So I go and look and sure enough he was sitting out there. I figured he was waiting till I left for work so that he can come on my property and get his mail. Cuz I told him that I didn't want him on my property anymore. So after I got dressed I went across to speedway and threw his mail at him and told him to stop watching my house and that next time im going to call the police. And he had the nerve to tell me that I got to be nicer.

Ummmm... What?

So I snapped. I told him i got to be nicer when he's the one who stole everything from me every chance he got? So he denied it and blamed it on Robbie so I told him to fuck off and that I hope he dies tommorrow, God forgive me, and then called him an asshole and walked off. He still doesn't get or figure out that I found my stuff in his shit when I was cleaning. He doesn't realize that. And you would figure a thief would. That they've been caught. But he don't. And that just makes him a stupid fuck.
But he claimed that he was waiting for a ride that didnt pick him up till 8pm. He had no business being around my house like that. But it was creeping me and my girl out. But next time im going to call the police.
My daughter now is driving me nuts. She dont do anything around the house. Don't clean up after herself and we've just been fighting like crazy. I don't know what it is. But she needs to find a job soon. And she has put in apps but they haven't called her back and she hasn't called them back to check. So she's been laying around with her boyfriend not doing anything.
My sex life is still non existant. I cant even get any from tai cuz he's trying to so call be good but has all these females up there. So he cant say hes not getting any if they staying up there for the night. And I swear I heard the bathroom ceiling creaking one time. And boy did that piss me off. Cuz here you telling me I need to be good and you still getting it from these ugly ass hoes? And im doing everything for him? Pffft...
So here I am drooling after every peice of guy meat cuz im horny as a motha fucka, and cant get any. I sucked a guy off the other night at work (yea,i know I was a bad girl) but I didnt get no dick like I needed. Its like when I dont want any dick the guys wont leave me alone. But when I want it the.guys aint no where to be found. And shoot, I cant do it on my own cuz I burnt the motors out on both my freaking vibrators. So I need new ones.

So I dont know. I think im going to start abusing my friend Fred. Lol start calling him more on my days off and getting some from him. Hes pretty good. And he eats cooch. Lol

But gotta go...

Laney

What a day

Today was a pretty good day. Except for all the heat that we are now getting. It's going to be a killer this summer. And even though it was hot we did get a thunderstorm today.

Work is still the same....boring. We have some stuff that happens but it's only every once in a while.

My sex life is completely dead now.I'm dying cuz I need some but I'm on my freaking period. So I have to wait to attack ty lol or any one else
But I guess I'm going to have to.*sigh*
Ohhhhh well.....

Gotta get in the shower

Laters,
Laney

This April sucks..

I don't think this year is going to be any good at all. because the beginning of it really sucks...

Going thru the trouble and drama of finally getting my step dad out of my house, and having him come get his 2 boxes of belongings out of it is taking forever.. i threw out everything else of his. my porch and front closet are finally empty of his things.. now all i have to do is pull up the rugs, wash the walls, and windows, and hopefully i'll be done...

But i now have a freaking head and chest cold that decided to visit me.

The beginning of April was bad, because a friend of mine from school got raped and murdered in Gary Indiana. it was all over the news and everything. and thank GOD they found her murderer.. she was a very nice and caring woman, who was being nice and gave this man a ride home, and that's how he repaid her... the fucking monster... so I've been sad about her being gone... .

So every once in a while, i will go onto

her Face book page and tell her hello,

and that i miss her. she was a very trusting, and good soul. and i can't believe that she is gone. So its been hard trying to deal with this.

Work

Being at work is starting to get hard every day.. alot of b.s. going on and i seem to be the one to get the blame for it. i don't know if they think just because i'm security that i can be every where at once and that i'm supposed to catch everything ... i do my best to try to catch everything i can... today was a hot mess , i'm sick as hell, and then some of the kids in the building wanted to start a fight with a grown adult female across the street from the building and it was just loud and dramatic over a Facebook page that this adults daughter made of the girl in the building and starting trouble with all the kids in school and everything.. but it didn't help either that another friend of mine passed away last night.

Elaine used to be a tenant in the building and her and her husband were very good to me when i first started working there. she would always come talk to me, and bring me pops, and when we really started getting to know each other, she would bring me down plates of food. lol.. and then me and her husband are real close friends. When ever Elaine would go into the hospital, and i would ask about her, she would come home from the hospital with a gift for me, for just asking about her. and i would get Christmas gifts from them, and i would get them a gift. she was a very warm and caring person, and a very sweet friend to me, even when she knew how i liked her husband a little more than just friends. but nothing ever happened between us, because of my love for Elaine. I've gotten to know her children and grandchildren too..

Here Elaine is on the right and her daughter Tina is on the left of her. Elaine was a very beautiful woman inside and out. she was in the hospital the past couple of days and they were trying to find out what was wrong with her, but we won't know how she passed until the autopsy. But may she REST IN PEACE and we now have a beautiful angel in Heaven looking over us now. She is in no more pain...

But other than that, everything has been going okay ... me and my friend are still co habituating.. its like he's not even here. .. he comes home, goes straight upstairs to the attic where he moved his stuff, and just chills up there... sometimes i feel like i'm being ignored, and like now when i can really use him to talk too, so i can get some kinda comfort, he's upstairs i think with some female company.. some chick that he met somewhere...but she was here last night, and i don't know...

everyone else thinks its wrong that he brings other females up to my house... but i don't think i have a right to say anything to him since he is paying me a little something here and there. yea, we do have sex every once in a while, and i'm trying to tell myself that he's not having sex with them, but the other day, Wednesday, he said that he used to be a player and that he's trying not to get back into his "old ways" but by the look of how he's going, it looks like he is.. he told me the other day, that he met 5 females in one day.. one while he was driving next to her on the street!! that's crazy...

And then i don't know if he realizes that it kinda hurts me when he tells me about these chicks, because he knows how i feel about him, but he don't think it will work out because he thinks it will "ruin our friendship" .. but i do almost everything for him like we were in a relationship.. i cook on my days off for me and him, i clean the house more because of him, i do his laundry, and if he needs anything else, i get it for him... so how would us being together "ruin our friendship" but even his mother told me not to fall in love with him and told me some stuff and he also did that kinda turned me off from wanting a relationship with him.. ... then plus, he's stuck on dumb-ass with his baby's momma.. .that's all he talks about... like he's totally obsessed with her.. mad about how she did him.. which i can't blame him for being mad cuz she did and still is doing him wrong..

But i don't know.. i'm just feeling a little ignored by him that's all.. and not because of the sex, but just that he don't talk to me . here I've been sick (he doesn't know that i'm depressed cuz he doesn't know about Elaine yet) and he hasn't texted me or anything to see how I've been.. i don't know if its cuz he's so self centered or what... . i don't know...

I finally after a few years, met up Tuesday night with this guy named Fred. We met online on this bootycall site i think. and we've texted each other about getting together and stuff, but everything that was going on with my step dad and with work and other things, I've been pushing him off.... so i finally decided that i can't be doing that anymore... and i don't know if its because I've been scared to just meet new people. i don't feel like wanting to tell them about myself, or how i like things done sexually and everything and have to learn what he likes that was stopping me or what.. or me just wanting to be with the same people that i have been with... i don't know...

So everything went okay.. we went to a hotel and fucked our brains out.. plain and simple.. it was okay.. the only think i hated was that he was uncircumcised. those dicks freak me out.. toooo much excess skin... and then its just weird looking... but otherwise, he's a very handsome man, and very " worldly" because he's a musician and a music teacher. and he's in like 5 bands that do travel all over the world.. i'm going to see and try to get him to take me on a cruise.. lol.. yea right... ( a girl can dream)

Well, talking about dreaming... i'm drugged up on Nyquil, and i need to get to bed...

talk to you all laters..

Laney.

My Birthday

Well, today is my birthday..

I'm 39 years old... i feel so old... my mind doesn't actually.. in my mind i still feel like I'm 24 years old.. but my body is feeling it with me getting old.. my legs don't want to work anymore... or my back... I'm walking so slow cuz my legs hurt all the time... but i try not to think about it.

I'm just getting better.. :)

But today is just a regular day... i have to work today. and i hope that the building is nice and quiet today too.

My days off, i actually cleaned the house... Tuesday i picked up the yard. all the garbage that flew into my lawn, or was thrown back there, i had to clean. so my friend Tai who is living with me, he raked it all into piles and i picked it up.. which i blew a little fit about because he knows i can't bend over like that.. lol. i told him that he just likes to see me bend over.. he likes all of my big ass.. lol..

But i got that done and over with and now i got to call the city inspector tomorrow so that she can come and take a look at it so that i don't have to go to court for it. cuz i got a citation on it.. but I've worked with her before and she was pretty cool about it. :)

So i did that on Tuesday, and on Wednesday i finally got into that front closet and threw away all of my step dad's other stuff. my daughter's boyfriend came over and helped me do it so it went alot faster . but we found some more jewelry and my grandmother's box of silverware that she had forever that he swore was his.. and i had found some of my cd's wrapped up in his shirts that he was going to steal. so i took them back.

but now all his stuff is gone and out of my house, except for stuff that is now in my basement that i will be going thru maybe next weekend when I'm off, so that i can get all and everything of his out of my house. i have to call him to tell him to get his one box of shit that he wanted by next week too, or its going out in the trash..

Everything that he did to me, i don't care if he wants his stuff or if i throw it out,.. he stole from me for the 3 years that he was here, and didn't give a crap what he was doing...

But I'm procrastinating on calling him cuz i know that we will be fighting and i don't want to fight with him. i don't feel like it. cuz i know I'm going to curse him out and be done with him... and i don't feel like getting myself all worked up over his no good self..

My daughter comes home in May from college. and I'm going to be so glad to see her. but she's going to be giving me hell cuz she doesn't want Tai here, and i do. .he's such a wonderful man. he's my best friend, and he helps me so much around here at the house, and talking to him and just looking at him makes me feel so calm and collected. He makes me be at peace with things.
and he says that i do the same for him too.. i joke with him and tell him we should get married. lol.. but he says that he doesn't think that he will get married. he's just so stuck in the past with his baby's mama. and can't get out of it... but that's a whole other blog.. lol..

But I'm just glad that he's here, and that we're friends (and a little bit more.. ) and then too, he watches out for my house when I'm at work.. he works during the day, and i work at night. so its a good thing... and then i don't trust my house here empty cause i don't know if my step dad will try to do anything to my house, or have his little boyfriends do something to it.

But oh well... i know its protected now with him being here. ..

But i think I'm going to go to bed now, cuz i have to get up early and do my laundry for work tomorrow...

But talk to you laters...

Laney

ungrateful step dad