ungrateful step dad

Today

Today was going all good and dandy... because i was happy that my daughter was coming back for Spring Break, and i was finally able to see her after 2 months. work was okay..was boring like usual lately, which is good, better than it being popping and trouble going around...

But my friend who moved in with me got mad at me cuz i didn't let him know that my daughter was home. and i really meant too, but i was talking to a tenant and forgot. so he's talking about going to sleep in the basement where its a filthy mess. and i don't want him to do that. but he thinks I'm making excuses. when I'm not. i really do like him and i don't want him down there, its bad enough that he's sleeping on my bedroom floor.

I've been cleaning my house this past two off days so that it can be clean for him and for myself. but i just want him to be up here with me.

And then i got into it with my daughter again about him. i don't know.. its just not going good today...

Then before she went to her boyfriends house, they went across the street to Speedway and got me some nachos and i broke my temporary crown on my molar. and now i don't know what to do...

I don't have any insurance at all or the money to go to the dentist to get another one. when i got this temporary crown, i had insurance and was working at the casino. but the insurance wouldn't pay for the permanent crown for some reason.. so now i think I'm going to go and ask them to just pull the tooth completely out and be just have a hole there... but the darn cap is sharp and its scratching my tongue.. and I'm afraid its going to start hurting . and i can't handle tooth pain. i think that's worse then menstrual cramps.

I don't know... is this God's way of punishing me? i don't think I've done anything wrong.. I'm trying to be good and do good by him and all...but i eat one nacho chip that wasn't even that hard, they were soft, cuz i just ate them after i got out the shower, and my tooth cracks... and then i feel sick to my stomach that i swallowed the piece.

And that i can feel the rotted tooth... that's grossing me out more than ever..

i just want to cry... badly.. but i don't want my friend seeing me cry again. because it bugs him..

i think i might be starting my period soon cuz I'm usually not this emotional about stuff.

i should be happy today because of my daughter being home, but I'm not... I'm sad.. and i can't help it..

shit..


laney

Family

You know, sometimes i think that family can screw you more than your friends can. My family is so messed up probably just like any other family that is out there, but mine can be unbearable sometimes...

This afternoon, i get a phone call from my step dad that just moved out 2 days ago, asking if he can come back because he can't stand it there already. AFTER 2 DAYS...

2 DAYS ......

He told me that he had talked to Social Security and that he would all of a sudden be getting his money soon, and that he would start paying me 200 bucks for the "only 2 months" that he would come back for till he got into the assisted living ...that he all of a sudden got approved for...

So i told him no...NO... NO... i can't do it.. once he got his foot back in the door of my house, he wouldn't leave back out of it again... and he knows it and thinks i'm stupid to fall for it... and i'm not...

So i told him that i can't because i'm going to be helping a friend of mine who needs a place to stay... so he goes..." oh, i see. okay, i guess i'm on my own.. i'll just slit my throat... then tells me that he's coming for his stuff still and then hangs up on me..

which everyone in my family and him know that if you want to really piss me off ....

Hang up on me...

That for some reason infuriates me...

So today i went and paid my phone bill and why did it take me a minute to decide if i wanted to disconnect his phone service that i'm paying for?

But i decided to be the bigger person and give him the few weeks that i told him i'd keep it on before i did shut it off..

But he actually got mad at me for saying NO, that i don't want him back here anymore... i couldn't believe that!!! after all the things he put me and my daughter thru the 3 years he was here...

all the kids in and out my house,
his no good son staying at my house,
my house getting raided,
my movies and my money getting stolen,
my daughters things and camera getting stolen,
all my electronical things broken,
garbage from out in the alley that others throw out, he deems there okay, and brings them here in my house....
him not contributing to anything....

But he's going to give me 200 dollars all of a sudden to come back and live here... yea, okay.. i'm re tar did...

If he's telling the truth, yea, i could have used the money... but i'd rather have my peace and sense of MIND. of not worrying about who is all up in my house, going thru my things and eating up everything... nope can't do it...

And then he thinks that if he pulls a guilt trip and says that he's going to kill himself that i'm going to fall for it and let him come back ... no way.. and that's such a dirty scandalous thing to do to some one your supposed to "love" .. but i didn't fall for it, he's pulled that on all of us and he never did it...

Then when i told my mother and sister that i let my friend move in with me they didn't blow a fit, but they always think that my friends are going to take advantage of me, and use me. and my friend isn't like that.. he's a very quiet, private person. and i know i don't have to worry about him going thru my things stealing my stuff...

But because of my past and letting all these supposed men live with me, and they did all that bad stuff, they think that he is.. and i know he's not..

So then i told my daughter, and she blew up at me. which i understand her side of it, but because of what i put her thru when she was little she doesn't believe that he's different...

And then too, we've never had the house to our selves since i've bought it because of me letting others stay with me...

But she has to realize and the same with my mom and sister... i'm the one who pays the bills here... not them... so i have the ultimate decisions on who and who can't stay with me... not them... and then my daughter is off at college now... living in a dorm with 3 other people...

While I'm here at home all alone with my cat...

And its not that i'm scared to be here by myself, i'm not.. but it gets lonely..my cat don't talk back to me when i talk to him.. he just meows.. lol.. but i need the companionship... and my friend will give that to me.. and then i really, really , do like him.. ALOT....

But him being here isn't like that.. i wish it was.. but right now he has other things in his life that are more important to him than a relationship and i understand that..

So my day was kinda depressing today....

But in other things... my other friend who happens to be married, was supposed to come chill with me Friday night... finally for the first time in the 2 1/2 years that we have known each other...

So he comes and picks me up from work that night, and then tells me that he can drop me off but he can't stay, that he will come back because his wife got out the hospital that night and he had to go back to check on her , but that he'd be back...

So that pissed me off, because not once during the whole time that we were texting each other that night did he mention to me that she was in there. otherwise i would have told him not to even bother..because i knew it wasn't going to go thru then...

So he's i'll text you in 20 minutes ... and i didn't get a text at all... which i knew he wouldn't ...

So he texts me the next morning saying that he's sorry and that he'll make it up to me, and that wifey didn't want him to go back out again...so i understood all that but it just let me down, cuz i was looking forward to us just sitting and relaxing and watching a movie...

But oh well... maybe one day it will happen...

Well, let me get off here and get my butt to bed...

Its been a long night.. i'm tired.. and exhausted..

And this time change is killing me... i need my hour back.. lol


Laney

FINALLY

I don't know what to do with myself...

I can't hold my excitement any longer.. lol.. he,meaning my step dad is finally out of my house!!!! I told him in late December that he had to leave and he was procrastinating and saying that all the assisted living places had a waiting list, which they could have, i never checked to see if he was lying or not, but he finally left today and is moving in with his "son" Rob.. the one who used to live with us here and steal from me and him..

But Rob and his girlfriend got a trailer out in Portage so they have a room for him there.. THANK YOU JESUS!!! its not his first place of choice, but they were the only friends of his that offered to take him... all his friends that he supposedly did everything for and helped, weren't there for him when he needed it.. but his thieving son...

But he also told Rob that if anything of his comes up missing, meaning his prescription pills that he's going to leave... not back here... but somewhere...

And i hate being so happy that he's gone, but he's put me thru so much the 3 years i had him here it ain't funny...

I've had little 15 and 16 year olds running all thru my house, my house was raided by the police and my daughter and her boyfriend frisked because of one of his little boyfriends robbing a house and running into my house, (cuz my dad would leave the basement door unlocked for him) these same little boyfriends would sit up on my porch and drink and smoke pot everyday, ditch school and come here,...I've had food hoarded by him , all my dish towels are in all of my drawers that i have in my kitchen, some also in the bathroom drawers.., my good towels have been bleached and discolored, anything electronic i have is screwed because of him... lets see, what else? he stopped helping me with the only thing he was helping with was food... he was getting stamps, and he missed a call and got cut off last summer, then was saying he was waiting for an appeal , but all he had to do was go put in a new application... and he never did. so that was a new bill i had to start paying for, and then when i did start bringing in the food, him or his boyfriends were eating up all of it... my cereal that he never ate , was disappearing.... my burritos gone... everything... my cookies that i bought, he had half of it gone in two day! he NEVER ate cookies like that.... so i know he was feeding his little boyfriends all of my stuff while i was at work..

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED AGAIN, ON WHAT HE DID TO MY VEHICLE THAT I BOUGHT LAST SUMMER... THAT IS A TOTAL RANT THAT I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO.. CUZ I'M TOOO HAPPY!!!

So now i can look forward to not having to smell smoke every time that inside door opens, no 16 year old kids coming to my house, i can walk around naked any time i want now... i don't have to lock my bedroom door anymore, i don't have to worry about my movies coming up missing, i can leave money out on my dining room table and not worry about it walking away, i can now leave my digital camera out, and my webcam without it coming up missing, i don't have to buy coffee anymore for him, i don't have to buy a gazillion bags of sugar for him.. i don't have to smell his foulness from the bathroom anymore or make sure that we have milk every 2 days cuz he goes thru it like crazy...

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh.... me time.....

Yea, i admit... its going to be real lonely for me... and its getting me scared. cuz the 5 years that i've had my house, i've never been alone in it by myself for long... but now that my daughter is in college and he's gone, its just going to be me... ME , ME , ME... .. LOL.. oh, and my hercules...i think he's going to miss him too... and he's going to be lonely when I'm at work .. but he will deal with it... so now i just got to get used to being here all by myself, and try not to get scared...lol..

I've also hoping too now that his little boyfriends know that he's gone, that they won't try to do something to my house while I'm away at work. because i never did trust them little butt holes.... but if something does happen then i know it was them. but i will be making sure that all my doors are locked and dead bolted while i am away. and my next check i will be getting new locks for my doors. i have to have someone fix my door knob on my front door . the knob is loose, but if its tightened it don't want to turn or lock... so i have to have someone come fix it right...

I can now take the password protection off my account for my computer and delete the guest account... see? little things like this that i had to do because he would get into stuff and screw things around...

But on to other things.....

I was talking to a friend of mine who's cousin used to live with me and i was messing around with for 9 years and loved him, well, he went crazy over my ex friend and she had a baby and everything by him and he's a worthless piece of crap... well, come to find out he really did her over... hahahahahahaahaaaa!!!!

That he still doesn't have a job, just sitting around smoking weed and playing video games, and now she don't have a job either!!!!! hahahahahaaa!!! she's now living off unemployment and he's living off her... i guess her car was messing up and her job got moved to somewhere in Illinois, and she doesn't do highways, so he was taking her back and forth to work and having the car all the time, so she lost her job worrying about where he was all the time.. calling off and everything so that she can be all up underneath him ... and i know what he was doing cuz he did it to me.. he was seeing all these other females that he'd meet online... but she was getting paid some good money and she lost it due to him... she also got pregnant again.. .. but she got an abortion.. which i never thought she would do, but it had to be from him telling her too, cuz he never wanted the first one by her... and she also blew up! got fatter than she was!!!! hahahahahahaaaa!!!! so Thank You, ex friend for taking my spot... lol.. because that's what i was doing, letting him smoke, and play video games, letting him take me back and forth to work, paying for things for him... and now she has all that now...

What goes around , comes around and GOD does not like ugly!!!!! but that made my day when my friend told me that... lol.. because I'm not stuck with his butt and all that bull crap...

So Wednesday was lent...what did everyone give up? me, i gave up fast food, candy, and pop... (which i have already before lent) and i think I'm going to give up sex too, since I'm not getting any now... lol.. but that don't mean that if a man would come to me wanting some, that i wouldn't give it to him, because i need it badly... lol..

But gotta go now... gotta go back to bed... lol.. get a nap in before work...


oh.... i got to go to the bathroom with the door open!!!!! i know tmi , but its one of those things that i missed doing... hahahahaha!!!

I'm out!!!!

Laney