Things going on

Man it's been a bad few weeks. I've been sick, my daughter is home from school and driving me nuts. And now the person who I called my step dad is stalking my house.
Yesterday my daughter came home from the grocery store saying that he was sitting on the corner of Speedway. So I go and look and sure enough he was sitting out there. I figured he was waiting till I left for work so that he can come on my property and get his mail. Cuz I told him that I didn't want him on my property anymore. So after I got dressed I went across to speedway and threw his mail at him and told him to stop watching my house and that next time im going to call the police. And he had the nerve to tell me that I got to be nicer.

Ummmm... What?

So I snapped. I told him i got to be nicer when he's the one who stole everything from me every chance he got? So he denied it and blamed it on Robbie so I told him to fuck off and that I hope he dies tommorrow, God forgive me, and then called him an asshole and walked off. He still doesn't get or figure out that I found my stuff in his shit when I was cleaning. He doesn't realize that. And you would figure a thief would. That they've been caught. But he don't. And that just makes him a stupid fuck.
But he claimed that he was waiting for a ride that didnt pick him up till 8pm. He had no business being around my house like that. But it was creeping me and my girl out. But next time im going to call the police.
My daughter now is driving me nuts. She dont do anything around the house. Don't clean up after herself and we've just been fighting like crazy. I don't know what it is. But she needs to find a job soon. And she has put in apps but they haven't called her back and she hasn't called them back to check. So she's been laying around with her boyfriend not doing anything.
My sex life is still non existant. I cant even get any from tai cuz he's trying to so call be good but has all these females up there. So he cant say hes not getting any if they staying up there for the night. And I swear I heard the bathroom ceiling creaking one time. And boy did that piss me off. Cuz here you telling me I need to be good and you still getting it from these ugly ass hoes? And im doing everything for him? Pffft...
So here I am drooling after every peice of guy meat cuz im horny as a motha fucka, and cant get any. I sucked a guy off the other night at work (yea,i know I was a bad girl) but I didnt get no dick like I needed. Its like when I dont want any dick the guys wont leave me alone. But when I want it the.guys aint no where to be found. And shoot, I cant do it on my own cuz I burnt the motors out on both my freaking vibrators. So I need new ones.

So I dont know. I think im going to start abusing my friend Fred. Lol start calling him more on my days off and getting some from him. Hes pretty good. And he eats cooch. Lol

But gotta go...

Laney

Today

Well, today was a pretty good day...

I was a little irritated again, due to my stank ass sister wanting to have an attitude because i didn't call her before i got dressed for work so that she would have been on her way to come get me... she wouldn't have been ready anyways...

It really sucks depending on someone else to have to take you back and forth places because of not having a vehicle. And i want to get another one, but not at this time because of my step dad still being here and he will think he's going to drive again. So i have been waiting on getting another vehicle. And its not like i can get one now anyways, because my license is still suspended and the major reason is that i don't have any money saved up for one.. this check i get is barely paying the bills i have now...

But otherwise, besides that today was a good day. Work was okay.. all the tenants wanted to wait till today to do their dam laundry. I had 3 of them text me before i even got to work about letting them know when i get to the building so that they can be the first one in there.. lol.. so the very first person who texted me is the one i let in there first and it took her 4 hours to do her laundry! and then the other 2 after her decided to wait to do theirs so i just let the others who were waiting for a washer do theirs.. it was crazy..

So then this guy who comes in to the building named Slim came and talked with me, and we've been flirting and talking since Summer of last year, about hooking up and everything. and he's a good guy and everything, but he's a drug dealer.. was in prison for 7 years (and i know your saying to yourself " how can he be a good guy but he's a drug dealer and was in prison", how i see it is you have to do what you have to do to get money out in this economy that won't hire anyone, and have no jobs hiring, he's doing what he has to do..) but like i said, he's actually a very nice , smart guy.. and very good looking to top that.. lol..

But we were talking about getting together tonight and i told him that he needs to just come over to my house, because with it being my job i can't do anything there.. (which i have done something there before and made me very nervous and paranoid) but he talked me into it, so i put my table up and went into the break room and we were messing around. And all the while we were, i was so nervous and making excuses to stop because i kept hearing people talking in the hallway out there, and then i thought i heard keys by the door, and so it wasn't as good as it could have been if we had just waited. So after i heard the keys i got so nervous that we both didn't get to finish... so it could have been better.

But he's paranoid about coming out here to the town I'm at because the police mess with black guys for no reason he says. but i told him if you drive the speed limit and play it safe, everything will be okay. they won't bother you unless you give them cause to.. so i don't know..

But now I'm over thinking it and wondering if he was okay with it, because he did say that we would do it again, but then i don't want to do it in the break room again. because the break room was nasty... i was irked that i was bent over in the kitchen with my hands on the nasty floor with the roaches...so i really couldn't enjoy myself... lol..

And then another thing that has me worried is that he's going to go tell his guy friends that are in the building. he says that he won't. but i know that he will tell one guy. because he told me already that he's got this other guy named Mike touching me and trying to get with me (which we have before, and he sucked, but he also plays to many mind games with me. ) and that they want to do a 3 some with me, but i don't want to do it with Mike because i know how its going to be with him.. i just want to do it with Slim.

And then lately with how much I've been thinking about sex a lot because i haven't been getting any like i was, i was starting to go nuts and that is one reason why i gave in and had it with him. but then i was starting to think about not just giving it up to just anyone like that anymore, and try to be good and hold out. but I'm so weak willed. *sigh*

I've also been wanting to read my bible more and try to change my ways and live by the book. but i see right now that its going to be hard for me to do that. Especially when I'm so sex crazed. that's all i think about.. lol.. and I've been trying not too but its so hard for me. to go from getting it every day to down to nothing or once a month or more, its hard... my friend Ty is trying to talk to me about the bible and get me to read it more and change my ways. and i want to too. but i just don't understand it. I'm stupid when it comes to the Bible. i don't know...


But all in all it was a very productive day today.. lol..

And i swear people think its funny when i tell them that my body is cock blocking me... because afterwards, i went to clean myself up and i was spotting. .. O.O

I was pissed.

I know its going to be around that time for me to start my period, but it won't come down. my legs have been tense and hurting lately, but nothing has been coming down..

And after all that bending over I'm surprised my back isn't hurting... and one good thing, my legs aren't hurting anymore.. :) lol..

But I'm out!!!

Laney

Men are so confusing and other things...

I know its been a while since I've blogged.. and this was one of my New Year's Resolutions that i really wanted to stick to, so that i can get a lot of things off my chest..

But a lot of things have come up, with work, and home, and men, and just sleeping all the time...
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Work....

Work has been just there... i'm getting bored with it.. its an easy job, the easiest that I've had and i shouldn't complain.. but the pay sucks, i got to fight off crackheads that think i'm desperate, fight cockroaches, and clean up piss that the triflin ass mofo's do in the elevators... but with how the economy is, and there are absolutely no freaking jobs hiring here in Indiana, i'm stuck here.....

But the good thing is that the tenants are good to me, and i love all of them, and i love all the babies that are there... So that is a good thing about the job..

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Step dad.....

He's driving me up a fucking wall.... he's not helping out around the house financially like he was supposed to, with getting his s.s.i and disability, to where that means my little ass check is paying for everything up in this house and for a truck that is pimping my ass big time...

he's fucked up my truck royally by the way he drives it, and then when things go wrong with it, i'm the one who has to pay for it, and i'm not even driving it! i haven't driven my car since Halloween.. because the seat is stuck forward and up to high , (its a mechanical seat, he likes it up to the wheel and high, i need it back and low) and he's taking his sweet ass time fixing it, and I've given him money to fix it, and he's just being real slow with it, because then he has control of the car...
The exhaust is completely down on it... well, its hanging by wire clothes hangers... but if i fix it again, (which I've given him money to fix it and that's how he did it, ) he will want me to give him the money and he would claim he's fixing it right... but he wouldn't .....

But you can't tell him anything... he's let his friends live in my house, on the porch where he's always at, and i tell them i want them to go, but he still lets them stay...

Lets kids come in that he's friends with , and sit around and smoke pot, and cigarettes, but if you say something to him, he's yea, yea, and nothing gets done...

I've had movies stolen from me recently that he claims that he didn't do , and none of his friends were here, or would watch those kinda movies, (shrek 3,curious case of Benjamin buttons,harry potter, and night at the museum) so i asked him if he pawned them , or any of his friends did, and he's no... you only get a dollar for them now... okay, that's a pack of cigarettes that he don't have money for...

It's like he thinks i'm stupid or something and that i don't catch on.. if none of his friends were here to take them then he did... my daughter's mp3 went missing for a week, and we tore the house up looking for it, and when i mentioned it to him one night about it and if he seen it, he's no.. so one night i'm here on the computer, and its no where here.... why the next morning it was here at the puter????

So i'm on to his little thieving ways... and everyone keeps telling me to kick him out and i'm on the verge too, but he's sick and that's the only thing that is keeping him here...and he's been saying he's going to go into the hospital for the past month, and he hasn't and he's walking around here coughing and moaning and crying and i want to scream at him to shut the fuck up already and go in! but then I'd be shit outta luck cuz he hasn't fixed the seat yet....

so its useless...
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Men...

That guy that i was seeing in August who dumped me for his ex that left him for a shelter is single again.. they were engaged to get married, (his stupid ass) and i had stopped talking to him for like 3 months to get my feelings away from him and then when he announced that he was single again, i told him that i was sorry about it, and that i was here for him, and he contacted me 2 weeks ago, and now we're talking again.. he's trying to find a place in the city again so that he can be close to his job. but i'm going to take it slow and try not to get my feelings into him again. and i'm going to give him his "competition" that he wanted the last time that i wouldn't give him..

Because there were offers from other guys, but i just couldn't be with anyone else. i was to hooked into him. but i'm now going to give these other guys a chance cuz i'm now seeing him in a whole different light... when i wasn't talking to him i was putting him in the loser category like all the other losers i was with before in my past. i know that's not right of me to do , but its helped me get over him in some way....

But it didn't help that he came over Saturday and i finally got me some good stuff after 6 months of not being with him... but it was alllllll goooood... lol...

And then now what's really messing me up is this one guy that I've been friends with for over 10 years, is now telling me how much he" loves me", and how he's working to save money for us...

and i'm like whaaaaat????

After all these years, that i sat and told him how i felt about him, and how when his relationship with his first wife didn't work out, and he went and messed around with this other girl, who gave him shit, and told him she was pregnant...but he didn't want to be with me....

Then after he gets a divorce from his 1st wife, and two months later gets married to his 2nd wife, still wants to call me and ask me for some cooch, and i'm like ... ummm... no... get it from your wife...

So there was a few months that we were going on and off with talking and everything, and him and his wife moved into a hicks ville part of Indiana to where i don't see him and now the last two days i'm getting texts from him saying...

He loves me...
He's working his butt off to save money for me and him.
and that he's realized things in his life

So i'm like "okay, why?? why now after all these years??"

And i think the main reason why he's finally "realizing " things now is cause he just wants cooch... and that's all... cause i guess his wifey isn't giving him any, and he thinks i will... he even said that he'd divorce his wife now for me!!!


But i swear i don't understand men !!!! the one i'm dealing with now wants it only to be a booty call thing and don't want to see what he has in front of him and wants to live in the past, and now this one is now realizing shit that he should have done years ago!!!!

But he has me so messed up in my head because i don't understand where all of this is coming from.. i don't know... maybe its not for me to understand...

But let me get off this thing and go to bed.... but i'm going to try to blog more often..

So i can stay sane... lol


I'm out!!!

Laney