Home......
Things here at home have been kinda hectic... my dad is more of a pain in the ass then ever... he's bitching about everything and anything, and its so annoying.. there are so many times i want to tell him to shut the fuck up already but i can't get myself to do that, cuz then he'll stomp around like a big ass baby and pout...
Its bad enough he irritates me already...he's dying.. like he always is.. but this time its for real... he had to have stints put up in him for his heart, and his body rejects foreign stuff in his body, and the doctors put that up in him and so he don't have that much time to go.... so i'm expecting to come home one day from work and find him dead on the porch... seriously...
Cuz with this heat and he only has a fan and the windows open, he ain't doing so good. and my air conditioner needs freon and isn't working so good either , but he still opens up the inside house door to try to get some cold air, but he just brings in the hot air from the porch cuz the air conditioner isn't giving out any cold air.. i gotta get it fixed, but he don't understand that.
I've been miserable this summer ....literally...
My house is still in Foreclosure... *sigh* i'm to scared to call my mortgage company to see if i can try to save my house, and i got some paper work from one company that can help me, but with my job and the money i make i don't make enough to even come close to paying a mortgage, plus lights and gas and everything else... i don't know, I've been looking for other jobs, but nothing is calling back. i want to keep this job and try to find something for after wards.. like a 1230am to 7 am shift.. i'm up all night anyways, so why not be up making money right? lol...
Vehicle.....
My truck has been outta commission for 4 months now... i took it over to see my friend around the beginning of April , late March, and came home with a leaking fuel rail....
My step dad goes to fix it, and takes forever doing it... yet he's still driving it, with it leaking gas....
then comes and tells me that the thermostat is messed up... so i ask him, is it from the fuel rail being fucked up.. and "he's yea, it could be...."
so he takes that totally out of the truck saying that "we can worry about fixing that again when we need it in the winter time..."
Which made no sense to me.. why not fix it now while its nice out instead of the freezing cold in the winter time where he's going to complain and bitch about how cold it is??? but oh well on that... then he comes to tell me that the spark plugs are shot on it, and that he's going to try to fix them with some that he has laying around the house..... so he tried to put them in, and they didn't work... of course. but you can't tell Mr. mechanic of 40 years that since he knows everything... Then another day comes to me and tells me that the car won't go back into reverse!!! so i tell him not to touch it anymore... i don't have the money to fix it and the dam thing can be a planter out there for all i care... so now its been sitting out in the middle of my lawn (cuz he didn't know how to park it in the driveway in the back) with a flat tire, and hasn't moved in months... and the dam thing isn't going to be fixed till he after he dies...
And i know how that sounds.. it sounds awful, but if i was to fix it now while he is still around, he would still try to drive it all doped up on his medicine and claim that he's okay and then total this truck.. and i'm not doing that again. I've had one truck totaled already by him, and i'm not having another one done...
And i know he's pissed as shit that he can't drive anymore.. cuz his lil friends don't come by the house anymore now that he doesn't have the truck running, and they used to be here every day, and now their not.. thank you God! but he don't see the connection that they were only using him to take them places cuz their parents wouldn't... and he also has no way to go to the grocery store either. he has to wait for his friend to take him after he gets off work... but oh well... and another reason why i refuse to fix it yet is because here all the while he's working on it, and things are going wrong right after another with that thing, he don't think its his mechanic work that's fucking it up... he told my brother that i fucked it up while i had it the two weeks while i was driving it... not his shitty work!!! i was so fucking pissed when my brother told me that!!! but i didn't say anything... i'm just going to let it sit back there....
So my mom and my sister have been taking me back and forth to work, and to anywhere else i have to go too... and i just give them gas money every once in a while.. i hate that i have to depend on them again, but right now i have to do it....
Work.....
Work has been just there..... its been so boring... and the boss has been putting more pressure on me to enforce the rules which i always have. but there's more pressure now, cuz a lot of the tenants complained to the health department, they had over 25 to 30 complaints about all the cockroaches, how there's broken stuff in their apartments, and the boss don't want to fix them.... they had numerous violation codes, the back emergency doors being locked all the time, they had no hoses in the fire doors in case if there's ever a fire on one of the floors, there would be no way to put it out cuz there's no hoses, the fire alarms don't work, no carbon monoxide alarms in any of the apartments, the back windows are supposed to be able to open and their caulked shut. and many other things.. but mainly about the roaches... they have been so bad...so they had to call a professional out to finally do it, but they used a bait for them, and its brought out the roaches more, and its not really killing them! the first thing that they should have done, was tell all the tenants to leave the building, and then put a tent over the entire building, and then fumigate the whole thing and then after that do the baits.. cuz them roaches are all in the walls and the dirt of the foundation of that building and they are never going to get the roaches out of there.. and they expect to have them all out of there in a few months... yea... right....
So they have been putting more pressure on me to enforce stuff like i said, and i have but the tenants aren't listening to me... I've already gotten into it with a couple tenants and i'm told to write it down, but one tenant i got into it with would have gotten 2 other tenants in trouble too, so i didn't write it down, but now any other time he messes up i'm going to write it down and get him... so now he's been real nice to me cuz he knows i'm really pissed off with him right now... cuz he really disrespected me and I've never disrespected him before ever...
So I've been trying to find another job lately.. but its also hard doing that, cuz i don't have my own ride.... i'm going to be shit out of luck when my sister has to find another job after the census job she has is done in August and she has to get a real job....*sigh* so i don't know... but i know i have to do something to get another job with a better pay....
Love life......
My love life has crawled to a halt right now... i get some once in a while... cuz i'm seeing this new guy that I've known for over 10 years (i used to work with him at the casino and he lives at the building with another friend from the casino) and he's into following the bible and doing right by that. but he's fine as helll..... lol.. i mean this man is gorgeous, beautiful... he can be a model and make some hella money... but every time he's around me , i just get hot...lol.. and don't know what to say or do.. he's just beautiful.. and even more beautiful naked...lol.. when we first started talking about getting together i was actually shy... cuz he's fine, and i'm me.... and was just shy about getting naked in front of him or doing anything to him.... lol..cuz here i'm a big girl, and he's a fine looking man, and i'm over thinking all of it of why he would want to be with me, but now i'm a little over that and we see each other when he wants some. because with him trying to follow the bible, when he does want some he gets down on him self about it, and so when he wants its, i'm definitely going to be there to get some.... lol.. cuz I've been wanting him since i first seen him at the casino... lol..
But we're really good friends and if i ever need to talk to him about anything, he's there for me and he makes me feel alot better talking to him. and i'm there for him when he needs to talk... but i tell everyone at the building that he's going to be my next baby's daddy... lol...
And my other friend i haven't seen since April when my car went down..
and i miss him so much... 
and then his car went down too.. he needs a whole new motor for his car that's going to cost him over 4000.00 dollars and he don't have that kinda money... so we've been texting each other and all, but i want to hold him and kiss him so much.. i just miss my baby... lol... But that's all summed up right there... i'm going to try to start blogging more often.. cuz alot of stuff has been on my mind, and i know i need to write it down, but i keep being lazy to blog.. but i'm going to start up again, cuz blogging makes me feel better....
But talk to you all laters!!!
Laney
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